Still counting...

Sigh...its been like FOREVER that the whole darn packing is taking.
And not only that, I'm not allowed to step out of the house till its over!
What the heck? Why should all of us be stuck at a nearly half empty house till those movers empty the whole place when we got only this wee bit of time to hang out with people i'll probably wont see again till im 60?!?! Well... so to speak...Grr...
Sigh...oh well guess i cant exactly complain. The move is for us to start a new life anyway. But i just wish i could spend some time with my buddies especially my ever loving crazy buddies-for-life sarah! lol!
Oh...i cant really help but think that...is it so wrong to like...not do things which im not exactly comfortable with...like....let's just say...shisha, if that's how you spell it, because its just me? Im not saying anything here but just because i never exactly accepted the invitation to do certain things does it mean and only mean im tryin to live up with the 'goody-goody' impression, or let's say, afraid of what my best friend will think about me? perhaps? i dont know...just a thought...
Yeah so anyway, back to where i was...when the whole darn packing is over i'm heading straight to sarah's house!

Leaving

Ok
So this is it
The time that I am surely, not mistaken, no doubts, any of it,
Leaving
Leaving everything I've built
Friendships, with amazing friends that I never want to part with
Never knowing I will be able to restore that part of my life
After being broken too many a time in my years in elementary
By 'friends' who claimed to be true
But all they ever did was hurt and kill every spirit I had in me
Stepping into high school I looked too scared to see
If history will repeat and bring me down to its feet
Instead it breathed new life into me
Despite having one or two pain but not so deep
I found amazing friends
That loved me for me
And never asked for more than I can give
I love them with all my heart
And nothing whatsoever, will ever change that part
Leaving
Leaving my other family
Cousins who kept me strong, who loved me
Even in difficult and emotionally hard times
All the times we shared will always make me smile
The fire in our relationship will never die
Even when apart
But still knowing I am a far or so going to be a far
Makes me want to cry
Leaving
Leaving every experience I had here
All the hang outs, rallies, camps and outings
With so many different people, with so many close friends
Leaving
Leaving the school that I really actually grew with
The high school that started to build everything
The only school that made me happy to be a part of it
Leaving
Leaving the church I've been since a baby
Where I first realized of my passion in singing
Where I found all sense of peace within
All the times I had in sunday school
Though boring
I loved it
All the times I had in camps and rallies
Though short
I treasured it, loved it
Leaving
Leaving all sense of security around me
The home that I've grew up in
That kept me, protected me
Leaving
Leaving the only person who made me feel
Having butterflies in my tummy
Who broke down the walls that I built
The person, the friend who makes me feel so deep
Who I've known since we were kids
Though I don't know if that person knows it
Leaving
Leaving everything behind
As I start a new life
In a new place, a different country
Where everything is new, beautiful
Moving to a new school
A new house
A new church
Meeting new people
Exciting, and scary
Leaving
Leaving everyone I love
Everyone I know
And not come back for long
Tears are brimming
As I think back to everything
Even as it aches, I know
Then when I leave
I have a lot to feel thankful about
A lot to reminisce about
A lot to smile about
A lot to laugh about
Even when I leave
I can still wait as time fades
For the moment when I will come home again
And see everyone I've connected with again
Just thinking about it
Throws away every pain that creeps in
Leaving me only to feel
Excited to what's in store
Will I be able to see what I want to see?
Achieve what I've always dreamed?
Be what I want to be?
I have no idea, no clue to what will be
But I will rest it in fate
And take it as it comes
Good or bad
Its life that I'm living
Its memories that I'm leaving
Leaving
Leaving hurts
But it is also beautiful
For it opens doors for you
To experience and venture something new
To find a better you
Leaving
Leaving the old as I start with the new
Leaving the old which have been and will always be gold
Leaving the sparkle that will stay
In my heart and mind
Strong as ever as I leave
This wonderful part of my life
Behind...

A Whirl of thoughts

Ok...im FINALLY updating my blog. So my friends are able to save their breaths now :)
Anyway, yeah lately Im feeling a little off-sided. Dont know why exactly. All my teenage life, I've build this wall on certain things. And I've made up my mind to not fall on this certain hole. This hole that drowns everybody in. Some finds it fascinating, some finds it shocking, some even embrace it. But very rare wouldn't like to be in it. Guess Im one of them. This all sounds really emo i know. Lol. But im really Very confused. Why is something you've been avoiding for long creeps in so bloody fast that you'll only realize it when it stuns you?
I got this best guy fren. The best ever. Dont think he knows that. But he means a lot. I can still remember us fighting for two years and when i think of it, it makes me laugh. He can be a real idiot. And I mean literally. But I gues I'm gonna miss him most when I leave. But one thing that annoys me the most about him, is that when i mention a guy i met who's hot and with the package. Or even that im close to a guy. He thinks Im married. Stupid git

Well...this is my first time blogging...unfortunately got nothin much to say right now. Im being forced outta the pc from 3 bratty sisters at the moment. when i do come back, i'll have somethin much more intersetin to write. till then.